It is as if I am running with my arms full—full of the pieces of my life—the brokenness of me. But all my pieces aren’t there.

I am running.
Running away from those who hold pieces of me.
Running from those I trusted—those I loved—those I love.

But I can’t be with them—they are not good for me.

They hold part of my spirit.
My fault though, I put my heart out there.

I run.
I stumble.
I stumble cause I keep looking back.
I stumble cause I can’t stay focused on the path ahead.
So I drop pieces.
More of me is missing now.

I look back—I can’t help it.
Why do I keep looking back?
It is painful.

Sometimes I stop running and turn back to where I came from.
Though I lose time–though it is painful, I turn back to the ones I love.
If I didn’t love them, I wouldn’t turn back.

My heart is torn.
It hurts.
I’m fighting for my heart.
I want to build a wall around it—this would be safer.
I don’t want to love anymore—except for one—the “innocent one.”

The “innocent one”—sometimes I think my heart will EXPLODE when I think of him.
The others, THEY SHOULD KNOW BETTER!
They hold pieces of my heart.

BUT I am WARRIOR!
I am putting on my breastplate.

I run again.
Only it is harder—wearing the armor makes it harder to run.
But I MUST RUN.
Still running, I try to pick up the pieces.
I suppose I will keep running…till that day.
That sweet day when I don’t have to run anymore.
That sweet day when I am whole again.
I will be whole in HIS arms.
That is worth running for!!!
That will make loving again, worth it!

HE is running behind me.
HE is picking up my lost pieces—
Because there is something to be learned from them.

See photos of our weekend at campbethel.com.

Winter 2009 brought SNOW!  Finally! … and ice…

Check out my photo album page.

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